Transfer 8 Week 1 one year!

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: August 16, 2015 7:43:36 PM MST

Subject: Transfer 8 Week 1 one year!

Transfer 8 Week 1 ONE YEAR

So here is the official announcement about transfers: I am staying in Shimizu! This is the first time I have stayed in an area longer than three months! Woah! There's a first time for everything. My new companion is Sister Thompson. She is just starting her 4th transfer and she is such a beast! We laugh all the time. In fact, she made me laugh so hard water came out my nose. Sister Thompson is from Bakersville, California, and is the youngest of ten kids. She is 22 (Taylor Swift wrote a song about her!) and she worked at Disney World before her mission!!! She is wonderful. We have already seen lots of miracles together. I am so SO happy! 

Our new district consists of:

Tsuboi Elders, District leader: new Elder Sato (he is new because last transfer, the other Elder Sato that was here moved to Fukuoka). So confusing, ね?

His comp: Elder Roncal

Shimizu Elders: Elder Carlson and Elder Rather

Tsuboi Shimai: Sister Madeux and Ogawa Shimai (my daughter!!)

Shimizu Shimai: me and Sister Thompson

Yatsushiro Elders: Elder Brower and Elder Needs (Elder Needs was in two of my past zones!)

I will be better about writing little bios on them next week.

This is going to be such a fun transfer. I am excited to see lots of miracles. I am excited for this new start :) いいかんじ！！

There are lots of festivals going on right now. This is Obon season, where everyone goes back to their hometowns and celebrates their ancestors. They leave food and flowers on the 墓 or grave/headstone for when the spirits come back to earth for a day. I guess you could compare it to Halloween? This just means that our investigators are all on vacation this week. There are also lots of visitors for us to talk to! We have talked to some really nice people and we are able to send referrals to missionaries in other parts of Japan. There are also tons of firework festivals! We can't go to any of them, but we can still see the fireworks from far away! I love fireworks. Nothing beats Japanese fireworks though. They are amazing! 

We have been trying to focus on getting our investigators to come to church, especially sacrament meeting. In Japan, Sunday isn't a normal day to get off work, so it is hard for a lot of people to come to church. I know that when investigators come to church, they are more prepared for baptism. At church we have the opportunity to partake of the sacrament, we can feel God's love, and make friends with other people who are all trying to be better. I was reading "The Sabbath is a Delight" from President Nelson... And I really want to share it with Murakami san. This is my favorite quote from it!

"Think of this: In paying tithing, we return one-tenth of our increase to the Lord. In keeping the Sabbath holy, we reserve one day in seven as His. So it is our privilege to consecrate both money and time to Him who lends us life each day."

There is one English speaking family in our ward! They are the coolest! We taught a Family Home Evening on keeping the Sabbath Day holy called Sundaes (Sundays) for Heavenly Father... and we scooped out two bowls of ice cream. We had various toppings. We asked "what are some good things to do on Sunday?" They said go to church, read scriptures, do service, spend time with family... Everytime they gave an answer, we would put on sprinkles, or chocolate sauce, whipped cream, etc. it turned into a delicious looking sundae. we said okay, what are some things we can do any other day of the week, but not Sunday? Now we had the other bowl of ice cream and the other toppings out. They would give answers like shopping, yard work, home work, etc. with every answer, we would put ketchup, and mustard, and cheese (hotdog/hamburger toppings) etc. on our sundae. We explained that the things we can do any other day do the week we good, just not for Sundaes (Sundays). We asked which Sundae they would like to give Heavenly Father, and of course, everyone picked the first one. 

We are so blessed to have church on Sunday! We are commanded to rest... I think that is my favorite commandment right now! I know that when we keep the Sabbath Day holy, we are blessed to find rest for our souls and true delight. 

When does college get back in? I can't believe how fast time has gone. I hit my one year mark on Thursday, can you believe it?! I am so thankful for every moment, especially the hard ones. I have grown so much closer to my Savior.

Two quick miracles, then I'll say sayonara! 

On Friday night, we were walking home and we got a little turned around... So we were trying to figure out how to get home. We felt like we needed to turn down a specific road, even though I knew it didn't lead home. We walked for two minutes, and we come onto the busy street and see a woman putting tons of stuff in her car. We ask if we can help. She breaks down in tears and says that something bad just happened in her home, and she was leaving. We tried to calm her down. She did she was a Christian, but hasn't gone to church since she was married. We asked her if she wanted to pray with us. Sister Thompson prayed, and the woman repeated the words. We helped her put the rest of her things in her car and told her that God loved her, and reminded her to keep praying. Before we walked away, she asked if she could shake our hands. Through her tears, she thanked us for our friendly smiles and for reminding her that God loves her. Isn't that what being a disciple of Christ is all about? God loves each one of us so much! He led us straight to this woman who obviously needed our help. 

The next day, we were housing, and we ping pong (ring the doorbell) and the doorbells here all have cameras and intercoms. One woman answered and we were talking to her through the intercom. All I said was "we want to share a message about how your family can be happier" and she said "wait a moment please!" She came to the door with her little girl and was talking to us... She said she wasn't really interested, but then all of the sudden she asks if we would like to come in because it is hot outside. THIS NEVER HAPPENS! We go in and sit around her table and teach her about Jesus Christ, and why he is important. We shared the "Because of Him" video from our iPads. The spirit was so strong. She said she was busy most nights because her sister was in the hospital, but that she really wants to know more, because she felt peace for the first time in a while after talking to us. She invited us back next week. KINJIN!!! 

Such a great week. I am feeling so much more happy and I am almost over being sick. Sister Sanders is back! Woohoo! 元気でね〜 have a great week! Love you!

サンダーズ姉妹より

Sister Sanders & her new comp Sister Thompson
Sent from my iPad

Transfer Seven Week Seven

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: August 10, 2015 7:34:04 PM MST

Subject: Transfer Seven Week Seven

Transfer Seven Week Seven

Yep. Week Seven! Such a long transfer. Normally transfers are six weeks, but since we got a new President, this one was one week longer than normal. So much happened this past seven weeks. I get tired just thinking about it. But it has been good. I am excited for a new beginning!

I know you're dying to know... Transfer calls! So it started last Tuesday when Chun Shimai got a call from Kaicho saying that she was being emergency transferred to Beppu, because a sister had to go home suddenly. Her companion Madeux Shimai, got a new companion named... OGAWA SHIMAI! That's right, my beloved bean chan is all grown up and is a breaker. She has been following me around the mission. I love her sooooooo much. I am so proud! And I will get to live with her! She is such an answer to prayers. At the end of the day, we just talk and it is so nice. It is so nice to have a friend. 

Other than that, we haven't received our call yet, so we don't know what else is happening. I will let you know next week.

I am starting transfer 8 out of 12... So that's cool! I am officially an "old" missionary. I still feel like I just barely got here! I am still not fluent in Japanese (will I ever be?), but I gambaru. I don't know what that translates to... Sorry!  I am getting tired though. We joke that you can tell how old a missionary is by how much their body is breaking. I turn my neck and my whole spine goes pop pop poppoppop! It is nasty. I don't know how Elders do this for two years!!! In missionary years, I am a grandma. If I sit still for more than five minutes, I fall asleep. It is way funny. I guess that means I am working hard? I'm trying to! I've got like no time left! Six months will go by so fast. 

Here's a treat for you: Something funny that I learned was that in 1 Nephi chapter 3 where it talks about Nephi and his brothers casting lots... In Japanese, they play this traditional gambling game with grains of rice. I don't know why I thought that was so funny. Another funny scripture thing is in the Japanese Bible, it also says that the Israelites made manna into mochi. Ohhhhh translations.

This week I have been studying faith. I realized that a lot of my investigators don't understand it, so I need to learn what it is better so I can explain it better to them. I read Choose to Believe from the most recent General Conference. It was exactly what I needed to read. The most important thing we can do is choose to believe. If we just have that tiny particle of faith, something much bigger can grow from it. We also have to make the resolve to never give up. When the going gets tough, you just have to be tougher.

"In those moments when the light of your faith has dimmed, let your hope for the Savior's love and grace, found in His gospel and His Church, overcome your doubt. I promise that He stands ready to receive you.... Your courageous decision to believe in Him will bless you immeasurably and forever."

I know, because I have experienced it, that the Lord is with us in our trials. He never leaves us. His hands are always beckoning to us. We just have to reach out and He will be there. 

Hope everyone has a great week! Friends, send me pictures pleeeeeaaaaaase! I miss your faces. Y'all are the best. Love you!

心から愛しまーすよ！

サンダーズ姉妹より

Sent from my iPad

Transfer 7 Week 6

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: August 2, 2015 8:15:14 PM MST

Subject: Transfer 7 Week 6

Transfer 7 Week 6

Wow this transfer is almost over. That went fast. Transfers happen the week of the tenth, so we will see what happens. 

Well, this week was recovery from hospitals and drama last week. Life is so crazy. It's over now, and I am feeling so much more genki and I am back to work. Sorry about how short the email was last week... I promise a good letter today! 

I feel like Sister Sanders is back! The first time we actually got out to contact after I recovered, I felt so much fire to talk to everyone. I beat my personal record for Book of Mormons passed out in one day! I also pushed myself a little too hard and had to take a break... But things are getting better! Thanks everyone for your prayers! They have been keeping me going. 

My district is still awesome! I really like these people. District Leader, Elder Christensen, goes home after this transfer. I am so sad to see him go. But he'll be at BYU Provo this semester, so everyone go say hey! He's way cool. I am really lucky to have awesome leaders. I have learned about the importance of STL's... Mostly how I don't want to be one. I am also thankful for our zone leaders who push us to work harder. I always try and be friends with the Japanese Elders because honestly they are the funniest. Elder Sato and Elder Roncal are hilarious. Elder Sato is the most chill guy, and then elder Roncal has so much energy. But they complete each other. I am BFF's with Madeux Shimai. I am going to take a road trip to Minnesota when she gets married. Chun Shimai is amazing. Our personalities are "perfect matches" and our minds wrk the same way. I am so blessed to work with such amazing people!

Can I tell you what Murakami san said to me?! We have been working with her for a while, but she just hasn't gotten baptized yet. She has some concerns about her family... But we were having a lesson on faith. Our member, Kojima Shimai said "it was an act of faith in the pre-earth life to come to earth"... Then Murakami looked at me and said "I think that we were friends then, and we promised that we would find each other... Thank you for finding me and helping me." I may have shed a tear or two... Or fifty billion. How sweet is that?! My translation doesn't really do what she actually said justice. I do honestly feel like what she said is true. I think that our paths were meant to cross. I just want her to be able to be baptized so bad. Her daughters and son came to the lesson too, and when it was time to pray at the end, Murakami's kids were the first ones to fold their arms. Then her daughter asked "Mom, can I say the prayer next time?" I have never seen Murakami so happy. She is sooooooo close. We are praying for her.

We have had a lot of success finding this week! Such a blessing! We found a FAMILY who actually invited us back. We are going to teach them this week. I think every missionary's dream is to find a family. I have only taught a few on my mission so far. I just have a really good feeling about this family. They just have one four year old son who has tons of energy and he is so cute! They have been looking for a way to make their family stronger, and they were sitting around their table talking about how to make their family stronger when we knocked on the door. Coincidence? I think NOT! :) I introduced us as people who had a message about how God loves you and your family and wants to help your family become stronger. He asked us when we could come back. That was a first! Most people don't even open the door for us. The Sakae family is going to be so blessed! Yay!

I want to share a thought from D&C 18:

Lots of times in the scriptures when they talk about the cool missionaries like Alma and Ammon and so on, the scriptures say things like "they brought many souls into Christ" which I take as "they baptized many people". Then I start to feel kinda bad because I haven't seen many baptisms. But I was talking to another missionary about this, and they said "as long as we invite them to come one step closer, we are successful." Our success is measured by our commitment!!!

15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!

16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

Being a missionary is such a wonderful opportunity! I love it so much! It can be difficult, but I literally get to cry repentance by inviting people to come unto Christ. My time is short- I only have 7 months left. In the 11 months that I've been serving, I haven't seen many baptisms... Will I be less happy because I didn't bring many souls to our Lord? 

No! God wants us all to be happy. He wants us all to have perfect joy. If the one soul I bring unto The Lord is myself, then that is great! If the many souls are my family, even better. Sometimes I get caught up in the numbers... But I truly believe that God doesn't care about numbers. He cares about hearts. He care about us wanting to change and be better.

You have a Heavenly Father who loves you! He remembers your name and knows what you need. He truly cares about you. He cares about what you are doing with your life.

Love you all. Thanks for all of your support! 

Sent from my iPad

Transfer seven week five

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: July 26, 2015 7:06:20 PM MST

Subject: Transfer seven week five

Hello everyone!! 

Transfer Seven Week 5

Hey everyone! I had a crazy week, and I am sorry this is a short email. I had my birthday, went to the hospital, many had to recover... but I am doing way better now! Thanks everyone for your prayers! It definitely helped. It was just a hard week, but I am really looking forward to moving on! We saw lots of miracles.

When does college start again? Are my friends going to be juniors?? Good grief. Everyone stop getting old! I am disgusted by the amount of weddings that are coming up. Just kidding, I am excited. Make sure to send me pictures!

I can't give up. God does not want me to fail. He has given me strength when I have needed it. Sometimes I wonder why we have to go through such hard things in order to learn a simple lesson. I don't know the reason... But God does. He promises that he will give us good gifts (i.e. what we need to grow). He promises that if we just turn to him, we won't fail. We don't fail until we quit trying. I am not going to quit. I have work to do and I have a lot longer on my journey to go. 

Sometimes, I can really only express myself in Nihongo... Gomen.

サンダーズ姉妹は自分の力でこの厳しい試練を乗り切らねばいけない。

Thanks for all your love and support! Talk to you next week.

サンダーズ姉妹

Sent from my iPad

Transfer Seven Week Four

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: July 19, 2015 6:47:40 PM MST

Subject: Transfer Seven Week Four

Transfer Seven Week Four

Hey!! Today is my last day as a teenager! Woohoo! I turn twenty tomorrow, but we are celebrating today :) some of the other Sisters in our zone are coming to our area to go out to lunch and go shopping. 

We met our new mission President and his wife! President Egan works at Lagoon, and he made lots of roller coaster puns. I really like him. He has a tender heart and couldn't stop saying how much he loves us. He will be good for this mission. I had a very sweet experience when I met with him for my interview. I looked into his eyes and felt sooooo much love. I had the thought "I wonder if this is what it will be like to look into Heavenly Father's eyes someday..." Sister Egan is amazing. When she introduced herself, the very first thing she said was that she loved the scriptures and she loved to learn. She is one of my heroes! I have been talking to her a lot the last couple of days because I got sick... Again. We are trying to figure out what is going on with me. I have been in contact with the area doctor and he is making sure I am taken care of. All is well in Kumamoto!

I am definitely learning humility. Because I have been sick, I have had to rely a lot on others for help. I hate accepting help though, so it was hard. The Ward members have been so sweet and bring us healthy food and they have all offered so much help to us. My district has been so patient too. Sister Popham has been helping a lot. I am glad she is patient, because it has been so crazy lately. I really really feel loved. District leader has been watching out for me and he was the one who told me to call Sister Egan. I didn't want to call her, but he insisted. I am glad I called though because now I am finally starting to get better. God loves His missionaries! In my patriarchal blessing, I am promised that I will have angels surrounding me when I need help, and I have been in the presence of many angels this week especially.

I read the talk "Latter-day Saints keep on Trying" and found a few things that had a big impact on me. A lot of times I just feel inadequate... Sometimes I catch myself thinking "How can God expect me to do this?! I can't speak this language! I am not a good teacher! I don't even like talking to people... I am shy!" Thinking like that is ダメ！Those are anti-Atonement statements! In the talk, it says "God cares a lot more about who we are and who we are becoming than about who we once were. He cares that we keep on trying."

Even though I have lots of room to grow, I can say that I have changed since I left on my mission 11 months ago today. I hope I am a little more refined. I know that my testimony is stronger. I have conquered a lot of fears and I really do try. I know that God has not called me to be successful... He has called me to be faithful. I know that through my obedience and faithfulness, I can be confident in where I stand with my Heavenly Father. He is so happy when He sees us try again.

If you're like me, and feel like you've stumbled one too many times, and maybe are not ready to try again... I want you to remember that your Heavenly Father loves you. He will help you. We are asked to "evaluate our lives, repent, and keep on trying. If we don't try, we're just latter-day sinners; if we don't persevere, we're latter-day quitters; and if we don't allow others to try, we're just latter-day hypocrites. As we try, persevere, and help others to do the same, we are true Latter-day Saints. As we change, we will find that God indeed cares a lot more about who we are and about who we are becoming than about who we once were."

Keep trying!!! To God, time is not a variable. We are all a work in progress. We are all a work of art. 

I know that God loves us. He is patient with us, and asks us to be patient with others and with ourselves. We can receive help through Christ's Atonement when we humbly seek for it.

Thank you for all the birthday love!!! For my birthday, today we are celebrating by going out to lunch and shopping! and then tomorrow a member invited us over for lunch. They were so excited on Sunday. They kept saying "See you on Tuesday!" Then they would mischievously laugh and say it again. I was walking down the hallway at church and a bunch of members were in a big group. I heard one say "When is Sister Sanders birthday?" And then his wife swatted his arm and said "she's right there! Be quiet!" I just smiled and said "my birthday is next year!" Haha I love Shimizu Ward! 

Have a great week! Be genki! 愛しています！

サンダーズ姉妹

Sent from my iPad

Transfer Seven Week Three

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: July 12, 2015 7:25:56 PM MST

Subject: Transfer Seven Week Three

Transfer Seven Week Three

Hello from Kumamoto! Every area in Japan has a mascot/ character... And in Kumamoto, the mascot is Kumamon the bear! He is a very cute bear, and beloved by all. We went with our investigator Hiromi to watch someone dressed in a Kumamon costume dance on a stage. I was sandwiched between 4 moms with their toddlers and one of them saw me and started crying... #gaijinprobs. I will send pictures. I also have videos of the dancing. I hope you enjoy it :) I love Japan!

I have been getting some birthday cards!!!! Ahhhh thank you so much! I can't wait to open them!!! I can't believe I turn twenty in 8 days. I still don't know what I am doing for my birthday... My roommates say they are planning something fun with the Elders and told me not to worry about it. I am excited :) The ward members keep asking me suspicious questions like what my favorite color/food is. 

We've had record breaking heat and humidity levels! And it is supposed to get way hotter next week! Kumamoto is in a big valley, so all the humidity sits here and it feels like I am walking through a cloud most days... It is so different from Arizona. While we are housing though, everyone offers us cold drinks. That has been a blessing. I drink about 3 liters of water a day, plus electrolyte drinks so I don't get heat stroke. Buuuut I am getting tan! It's a missionary tan but Yay!!! My watch tan is pretty legit. People tell us that we are crazy for being outside, but then we tell them that our message is so important that we want to tell everyone about it, no matter what the weather is. We have had some cool contacts that way. 

I have gotten really close with some of the members in Shimizu ward! I have a new Japanese mom, her name is Kojima Shimai and she is so wonderful. She works so hard, and she not only chases her kids around, but she joints for lessons and takes care of her mom. She has been so sweet to me and has been helping us so much. I learned a funny kotowaza (proverb) from her this week! It is "kusai mono niwa futa o suru" which translates "to put a lid on a smelly thing"... Which means trying to solve a problem by ignoring it. Kojima Shimai told me that ignoring my problems won't make them go away. I love Kojima Shimai, because then she took us to the church and asked us to clean out the fridge with her. Turns out there was some oooooold, naaaaaasty food that has been there for who knows how long. I was gagging as I was cleaning and she tells me "it's a lot more work to clean up a mess when you ignore it for a long time, right?" I thought it was so funny. She is so wise. And sassy. I like her a lot. 

As for my mental/emotional state, I am doing much better. Thank you for your many prayers. I know that God gives us opportunities to grow... And those opportunities come in the form of trials and hard things sometimes. I am trying to "make a pearl" of this experience. Hard things don't last forever. I can do hard things. I appreciate the love and support! Things are looking up!

This week I read from that famous "the Fourth Missionary" talk. I like it because it talks about change, but reading it always kind of singes my eyebrows. It's very blunt. Anyways, One of the quotes that I really like says "Every challenge you face... Happens for one purpose only: to give you opportunity to respond by applying in your life the teachings of Jesus. As you do so you are changed to become more like Him."

I know that this is true. I am thankful that I have had SO many opportunities to use my agency. I need a lot of second chances. As long as I am trying, Heavenly Father will pick up the slack. I have noticed when we try our hardest to prepare, we are blessed to be able to understand when the topic changes, or if the investigator needs something else. Power comes from preparation. When we put in the effort, we qualify for God's grace. We all desperately need this grace in order to change. 

But like President Uchtdorf said, "... I wonder if sometimes we misinterpret the phrase "after all we can do." We must understand that "after" does not equal "because."... We are not saved "because" of all that we can do. Have any of us done all that we can do? Does God wait until we've expended every effort before He will intervene in our lives with His saving grace?"

God, in His great mercy, reaches out to us always... We just have to be willing to accept His help.

Back to "the Fourth Missionary" talk: "The purpose and central blessing of life is change. It is to be changed to become more like Jesus Christ. It is to incorporate into your character, the qualities of His character. It is to move from one degree of intelligence and capacity to the next, from there to the next, until you see God face to face and know Him as He knows you." 

This life is the time to prepare to meet God. We will see Him and speak with Him and it will be a happy day. I know He loves us, and wants us to have opportunities to grow. I know that I needed to go on my mission in order to have a closer relationship with God. He helps me, and I know that He loves me. I know that our Heavenly Father knows each of our names. He laughs and cries with us. He truly loves each one of His children, and He loves YOU! 

I love you too! Everyone have a great week and stay genki! 

Also, remember that my birthday is in 8 days. :)

Sent from my iPad

Love,

Sister Sanders

Transfer seven week two

From: Lindsay Sanders <lindsay.sanders@myldsmail.net>

Date: July 5, 2015 9:19:22 PM MST

Subject: Transfer seven week two

Transfer Seven Week Two!

Hello and good morning! How is America? Summer vacation? We've had tons of miracles this week. It almost makes all the rain worth it. Almost.

This week we fasted for Murakami. I love her so much! She has been close to baptism, but hasn't talked to her family yet. We planned a lesson where she would feel the Spirit so we could commit her to finally talking with her family. We taught about God's love and how He wants us to be happy. I used an analogy saying talking about Disneyland... There are lots of cool rides and experiences you can have.., but in order to get through the gate, (then I asked her what we need) and she said BAPTISM! We testified that through baptism, we can be happier and our family relationships can be strengthened. Bishop jointed for the lesson and he bore a powerful testimony that if Murakami walks this correct path, then her family will follow. I was bold and asked her if she would talk to her family about baptism. She said yes! I am so excited for her!! I absolutely love her family. She has the cutest kids. Someday her husband will come to know the truth and they will be sealed in the temple :) that is Murakami's dream. I cannot tell you how much I have prayed and fasted for this woman. She needs the gospel so much in her life. I am so excited that she is progressing so much!

Zone Training Meeting this week was awesome! We rode the bus to Nagamine and I was leading all of us because the elders bikes were broken, but we got lost... Oops. So we prayed and not even a minute later a man runs (literally runs) up to us and says "you look like you need help". He helped us find the right bus and we made it to the meeting on time. It was a good training. The zone Leaders talked about the Spirit and why it is so important that we are worthy to have it with us. It is so true, we definitely need the Spirit in order to plan, find, and teach those who are ready to accept the gospel. I still have lots to work on though!

So this week, I kind of broke. Let me explain: I have been struggling for a couple weeks. It's just normal missionary life, sometimes it is hard and you just want to power through. I was also refusing to admit that I wasn't okay and refusing to ask for help. I thought that if I worked harder, my problems would go away. My mother gave me wonderful advice to not let myself burn out. I was dumb and thought that I didn't need to worry about that. I thought "I am so far from burning out, and my struggles aren't even that bad compared to others... I am not yet like Job! I am fine! I'll just keep going"! I was WRONG! Shocker, right? Lesson number one is ALWAYS listen to your mom! On Wednesday morning I woke up and immediately knew I was ill. 

That whole day I was so sick! Not Pretty. The next day was our Zone Meeting, so I knew I had to get better quickly. We didn't know what to do... But it wasn't bad enough to go to the hospital. I received a priesthood blessing and district leader told me to stay in bed. I could not rest though. I felt so guilty. I felt like I needed to be outside working. My roommate Sister Chun came in and sat with me. Normally she talks a lot, but this time she just said "I think this is Heavenly Father's way of making you ask for help". Then she left to let me rest.

Haha, that was a joke because I couldn't sleep. I had a few hours after that to ponder. I knew I was struggling, but I didn't think it was that bad. My numbers were fine. Our companionship was actually doing better. The work was moving forward. But in my heart I knew I needed help to change. Because I was trying to do everything by myself, and just plough through anything And anyone in order to get the work done... I lost sight of my purpose. My heart wasn't in it. I had gotten tired. I lost my faith. And that is NOT the way missions are supposed to be.

So, at this point I find myself at the lowest I had ever been. Helpless and utterly alone. Sick, and laying on a futon somewhere in the middle of Japan. I knelt on my futon and cried out in prayer. I pleaded for god's forgiveness. I finally asked for help. I received such a sweet answer to my prayer: a warm feeling that started from my heart and quickly filled me with peace. I felt like I was at last ready to move forward. 

I asked for help from my companion and from my leaders. I have new goals to do more things that make me happy. There are some big changes I need to make, but I Think as soon as I get myself put back together, our investigators will be able to progress more.

What do you do when you find yourself having to start over? First, we need to remember that God loves us. President Uchtdorf said:

"Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. …"What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us [see D&C 88:63]." 

Next, we need to TRUST and have FAITH that God will help us.

Alma 36:3 And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.

After this, we must be humble and repent. (Repenting meaning having a desire to change).

Mosiah 4:10 And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would [change] you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them.

These are the most important things we can do! But this is not all, we need to press forward, renewing our promises with God, feeling an increase of the Holy Ghost, and then we must resolve to keep going. 

2 Nephi 31:20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

Isn't that a beautiful promise? I know that if we want to change, we can do it with God's help. When we remember His infinite love and rely on Him, our natures can change. Our trials are made lighter. We can be happier. It is because of Christ's sacrifice for us that this is possible!  That is why I love this Gospel so much! We do not have to be stuck in a pit of misery! My hope is to help people understand that this mortal experience is not the final product. There is so much happiness and so many blessings that await us IF we just turn to God. I don't know why I have to learn this lesson so many times... Probably because I haven't gotten it yet... But I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who waits patiently for me to be humble and turn to Him. You are not alone.

Have a great week!! I love you! Remember to brush your teeth and say your prayers! 

心から愛しています！

サンダーズ姉妹

Sent from my iPad