Transfer Seven Week Two!
Hello and good morning! How is America? Summer vacation? We've had tons of miracles this week. It almost makes all the rain worth it. Almost.
This week we fasted for Murakami. I love her so much! She has been close to baptism, but hasn't talked to her family yet. We planned a lesson where she would feel the Spirit so we could commit her to finally talking with her family. We taught about God's love and how He wants us to be happy. I used an analogy saying talking about Disneyland... There are lots of cool rides and experiences you can have.., but in order to get through the gate, (then I asked her what we need) and she said BAPTISM! We testified that through baptism, we can be happier and our family relationships can be strengthened. Bishop jointed for the lesson and he bore a powerful testimony that if Murakami walks this correct path, then her family will follow. I was bold and asked her if she would talk to her family about baptism. She said yes! I am so excited for her!! I absolutely love her family. She has the cutest kids. Someday her husband will come to know the truth and they will be sealed in the temple :) that is Murakami's dream. I cannot tell you how much I have prayed and fasted for this woman. She needs the gospel so much in her life. I am so excited that she is progressing so much!
Zone Training Meeting this week was awesome! We rode the bus to Nagamine and I was leading all of us because the elders bikes were broken, but we got lost... Oops. So we prayed and not even a minute later a man runs (literally runs) up to us and says "you look like you need help". He helped us find the right bus and we made it to the meeting on time. It was a good training. The zone Leaders talked about the Spirit and why it is so important that we are worthy to have it with us. It is so true, we definitely need the Spirit in order to plan, find, and teach those who are ready to accept the gospel. I still have lots to work on though!
So this week, I kind of broke. Let me explain: I have been struggling for a couple weeks. It's just normal missionary life, sometimes it is hard and you just want to power through. I was also refusing to admit that I wasn't okay and refusing to ask for help. I thought that if I worked harder, my problems would go away. My mother gave me wonderful advice to not let myself burn out. I was dumb and thought that I didn't need to worry about that. I thought "I am so far from burning out, and my struggles aren't even that bad compared to others... I am not yet like Job! I am fine! I'll just keep going"! I was WRONG! Shocker, right? Lesson number one is ALWAYS listen to your mom! On Wednesday morning I woke up and immediately knew I was ill.
That whole day I was so sick! Not Pretty. The next day was our Zone Meeting, so I knew I had to get better quickly. We didn't know what to do... But it wasn't bad enough to go to the hospital. I received a priesthood blessing and district leader told me to stay in bed. I could not rest though. I felt so guilty. I felt like I needed to be outside working. My roommate Sister Chun came in and sat with me. Normally she talks a lot, but this time she just said "I think this is Heavenly Father's way of making you ask for help". Then she left to let me rest.
Haha, that was a joke because I couldn't sleep. I had a few hours after that to ponder. I knew I was struggling, but I didn't think it was that bad. My numbers were fine. Our companionship was actually doing better. The work was moving forward. But in my heart I knew I needed help to change. Because I was trying to do everything by myself, and just plough through anything And anyone in order to get the work done... I lost sight of my purpose. My heart wasn't in it. I had gotten tired. I lost my faith. And that is NOT the way missions are supposed to be.
So, at this point I find myself at the lowest I had ever been. Helpless and utterly alone. Sick, and laying on a futon somewhere in the middle of Japan. I knelt on my futon and cried out in prayer. I pleaded for god's forgiveness. I finally asked for help. I received such a sweet answer to my prayer: a warm feeling that started from my heart and quickly filled me with peace. I felt like I was at last ready to move forward.
I asked for help from my companion and from my leaders. I have new goals to do more things that make me happy. There are some big changes I need to make, but I Think as soon as I get myself put back together, our investigators will be able to progress more.
What do you do when you find yourself having to start over? First, we need to remember that God loves us. President Uchtdorf said:
"Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God's love encompasses us completely. …"What this means is that, regardless of our current state, there is hope for us. No matter our distress, no matter our sorrow, no matter our mistakes, our infinitely compassionate Heavenly Father desires that we draw near to Him so that He can draw near to us [see D&C 88:63]."
Next, we need to TRUST and have FAITH that God will help us.
Alma 36:3 And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.
After this, we must be humble and repent. (Repenting meaning having a desire to change).
Mosiah 4:10 And again, believe that ye must repent of your sins and forsake them, and humble yourselves before God; and ask in sincerity of heart that he would [change] you; and now, if you believe all these things see that ye do them.
These are the most important things we can do! But this is not all, we need to press forward, renewing our promises with God, feeling an increase of the Holy Ghost, and then we must resolve to keep going.
2 Nephi 31:20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
Isn't that a beautiful promise? I know that if we want to change, we can do it with God's help. When we remember His infinite love and rely on Him, our natures can change. Our trials are made lighter. We can be happier. It is because of Christ's sacrifice for us that this is possible! That is why I love this Gospel so much! We do not have to be stuck in a pit of misery! My hope is to help people understand that this mortal experience is not the final product. There is so much happiness and so many blessings that await us IF we just turn to God. I don't know why I have to learn this lesson so many times... Probably because I haven't gotten it yet... But I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who waits patiently for me to be humble and turn to Him. You are not alone.
Have a great week!! I love you! Remember to brush your teeth and say your prayers!
